


Solace

by blackcoffeeandteardrops



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Post-Episode: s11e01 My Struggle III, The X-Files Revival, season eleven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 12:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13294689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackcoffeeandteardrops/pseuds/blackcoffeeandteardrops
Summary: Episode tag for S11 E1: My Struggle III. At the end of a long and trying day, Mulder & Scully find comfort in each other.





	Solace

“You sure you’re okay?” Mulder asked, eyes uncertain, as he hovered over the couch and handed Scully a bottle of water. He rested a hand on his hip and glanced about, full of nervous energy since they’d gotten home from the hospital. While the direct cause and cure of Scully’s seizures wasn’t entirely certain, both they and the visions brought on by William (the reality of which he knew they were both still trying to grasp) had subsided, although he knew it wasn’t permanent. The ten minutes she’d insisted upon taking a shower alone felt like an eternity, and he’d perched at the foot of their bed, jumping up as soon as he heard the water shut off to knock and ask if she needed any help getting out. “You haven’t eaten yet tonight, Scully. Why don’t I prepare you some soup? Or we’ve got some pasta , I could whip up some--”

“I know you’re worried about me, and so if making soup will make you feel better, I get it. But to be truthful, Mulder, I’m not hungry,” Scully replied, lifting the blanket draped across her lap. A movie played on low volume, casting a pale glow about the room. She’d asked him to help her downstairs after her shower, more so because she knew he’d probably follow dangerously close behind if she hadn’t, and had remained on the couch ever since. Watching something on tv, however mind numbing, was enough to allow her a temporary reprieve from her thoughts. “Sit with me.”

Mulder sighed before doing as asked. He readjusted the blanket over them both and watched as she unscrewed the water, drinking nearly a third of the bottle in several quick gulps. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m renting space in my head, waiting for the tenant to return. Waiting for him to send me some kind of signal, some sign that might indicate what our next step is supposed to be,” Scully replied, settling the water in her lap. She rested her head against the back of the sofa and reached for his hand, tethering their fingers together and settling her other hand on top of them. She felt heavy, weary ahead of the battle she knew they were both meant to fight.

“Have you had anymore visions? Anything that could potentially suggest where it is you believe he might be?” Mulder asked, trying to temper his voice. It felt odd in a way, talking about their son in the present tense. For so long he’d been a cherubic face in a picture frame, pushed to the back of the shelf, collecting dust as the days waged forward. Now, they’d brought him forward into the light, although as the thought crossed his mind, Mulder couldn’t help but think that perhaps it was the other way around.

Tears pricked her eyes and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth to suppress a sob. “No,” she replied, her voice scarcely more than a harsh whisper. “Not since the hospital.”

He gave her hand a squeeze, trying to assure her with a simple touch in a way his words never could. “Maybe you could try reaching out to him. We haven’t entirely figured out how this works, or why, but--”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried that already, Mulder? You think that thought hasn’t crossed my mind?” she cried out, the silence afterward broken only by music from the credits rolling on the movie playing on screen. People in movies got happy endings, and even if they didn’t, they got answers. Their lives were nothing like the movies though, she thought, and there were now more questions than answers to be found. “I’m scared, Mulder. Not for us, but for William. I don’t understand what’s happening to me, but I’m a medical doctor and can look at and analyze the science of it. He’s just a boy. Even if he’s capable of these things, he may lack comprehension of why he’s able to do so, let alone understand the images he’s seeing.”

“Oh, Dana…” he breathed her name, easy like air, and reached out to wipe a tear from her cheek. “At the hospital, you said that he’d find us. I believe that’s true. I believe our son can find us, and he will. With your help,” he said, sounding more sure than he felt. When he closed his eyes, images of her lying on the floor unconscious mixed with the images of her fighting for breath while an assailant hovered over her, so bent on ending her life for a reason he failed to fully understand. They’d been given pieces to the puzzle and it was starting to take shape, but it wasn’t yet complete. “In the interest of full disclosure, Scully, I have to confess that I’m scared, too.”

“Of what?” she asked, though she knew his response could be any from the myriad of things currently plaguing them.

“Not of what, although I guess that’s also true. What I’m scared for is you. Of what these visions might do to you, and just as much what their absence might mean for you, too,” he said, releasing her hand to put his arm around her shoulders. He’d felt her let out a shiver, however voluntary, and inched closer in an effort to keep her warm. He studied her profile as she watched the television rather than focusing on him, and he knew she had to be tired. “You’ve seen our son, Scully. In the most unconventional and unexpected of ways, but you have. And I’d like to see him too, to help save him from all of this, but there’s something else you need to know.”

“You killed a man because he tried to kill me. You didn’t ask questions or threaten to shoot, you acted simply on a need to protect me,” she replied, smiling sadly in his direction. She rested her hand on his thigh, echoing her actions from earlier in the hospital, reassuring him with touch in the event her words didn’t carry their intended effect. “I’m here, Mulder. And until William sends me a sign, we’re in a holding pattern. I’m going to do whatever it takes to find him, but you’re not going to lose me. You have to know that.”

They’d had similar conversations over the years, standing on the brink of various adventures and events that would earmark their lives in one way or another, sometimes in a positive manner and other times in circumstances that turned so dark and sad she was amazed they’d managed to make it through to the other side. The weight of her hand resting on his leg was a welcome one, just as much as the steady rise and fall of her chest was a reminder of her breathing. A reminder that despite everything they’d been through, she was alive.

“There’s something else,” Scully said, at last bridging a subject she knew he had the right to know. “I told you that Spender came to visit me, that he told me William was in danger because people were looking for him. That they feared what he was capable of, of the things he could see and do. What I didn’t tell you is that I asked him to help me find him.”

His hand gripped her shoulder protectively, as if by sheer force and will alone, he could protect her from the evil of the world. “We don’t know how well we can trust him, Scully. We need to be careful about this.”

Scully nodded, tears again clouding her eyes as she started to speak. “I know. But Mulder, he gave me a name.”

“A name?” Mulder asked, sensing where she was going, but too afraid to voice it lest he be wrong.

“The family that adopted him. Van De Kamp. Essentially, it’s the smallest needle in the largest haystack, and statistically, our chances of finding him based solely on that fact alone are astronomically--” her words were halted by Mulder pressing his lips to her own. She tasted salt spilling between their lips as they parted, and it was then that she realized the tears that had fallen weren’t all her own. “Mulder?”

He brushed a tendril of hair behind her ear and traced her jawline with the back of his hand. In the blue-light from the tv screen, he could make out lines on her face just as he knew she’d see some on his own, mapping out a history they knew all too well. He closed his eyes for a moment, this time seeing the tiny boy he’d known for too brief a time.

If he stayed still enough, he could just barely make out the expression on the boy’s features when he’d kissed the downy hair on his scalp and laid him down in his bassinet before walking out of his life. It was never supposed to be for good, but their temporary separation had lasted for far too long, and now he felt like they’d been given the slightest of chances to help bridge the gap. “I know you said you believe he could find us, and I think you’re correct. As much as the visions scare me, I also think they can help guide us. But this name...you’re right in thinking it’s not much to go on, but it’s something.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, her voice cautious. She knew the gleam in his eye and the sudden energy she could all but feel buzzing around him all to well. “You think we can find him?”

“I’m saying that I think we have to, Scully. That we must, before anyone else does. We have to protect him,” he replied, sounding more sure of what he’d just said than about anything that had taken place in the last few days. He’d seen people that he’d long thought dead and been introduced to new players in the game they’d found themselves caught in for years, but the realization that they had something regarding William that the others didn’t made him feel strangely calmer than he had in a long time.

“Mulder,” Scully said, plucking at a stray thread on the blanket. “You killed someone. I know I said that before, but I failed to ask: are you okay?”

He let out a soft laugh and slowly shrugged his shoulders. His eyes scanned her face, noting the bruising and scrapes that would take time to heal, knowing from experience that the damage that had been done mentally would take longer to repair. “You're okay, Scully, that's what is important--”

“No,” she interrupted, defiantly shaking her head. “Mulder, if we're going to do this? If we're going to try to find William, try to keep him safe? We both need to be well, & we both need to be absolutely certain we're making the right choice.”

He lifted her hand from where it rested atop the blanket, placing her palm flat against his chest, and held it there. “I’m here, Scully, and so are you. In spite of all the difficulties we’ve faced, we haven’t succumbed, and we’re not going to. We’ll find William. Make sure he’s safe,” he said, pausing to hook his free hand under her chin, urging her to look at him. “But not tonight.”

“Not tonight,” she replied, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder. The adrenaline had left her system, leaving her feeling exhausted. “Mulder?”

“Hmm?” he replied, kissing the top of her head before clearing his throat. “Why don’t you go upstairs? Get some sleep.”

“Sleep’s good,” Scully mumbled, sounding as if she was already halfway there. “Can you help me get to bed? I’m not sure I can make it myself.”

Scully admitting she needed or wanted help wasn’t something he was privy to very often, which usually Mulder was grateful for because it meant she was well. Still, as he placed an arm around her waist, insuring she was comfortable on her feet before moving towards the stairs, he was not about to miss the opportunity to help however he could. “Well, since you asked,” he said, hand sliding slightly lower as they reached the steps.

“To sleep, Mulder,” Scully said, though as she did, a sleepy smile played on her lips. She thought briefly of the things they’d overcome to even speak that way to each other again, to find solace in the place they both knew they could find it: each other. She burrowed under the comforter, sighing in contentment when she felt his hand rest comfortably on her hip, a solid reminder that he was there if anything were to happen. The visions had paused for a time, though neither of them understood why, and she feared what would happen if another were to occur without warning. She was glad he’d be there, like always, should one happen throughout the night. “Thank you.”

“Always,” he replied, darting his thumb under the thin cotton of her shirt and rubbing circles against her skin. He thought of William, miles away, and couldn’t help wondering how he was coping with all of this, curious if he had any understanding of what was taking place. It wasn’t over--far from it--but as his eyelids grew heavy and he felt Scully’s breathing grow slower, a signal that she’d fallen asleep, he knew they’d face whatever happened next together.


End file.
